dialectics

Although relational dialectics is called a theory, I consider it more a way of thinking. When I first read about relational dialectics it really resonated with me. It seems rare that people have a single affective response to something, especially something as complex as relationships. Often we have mixed responses, such as wanting to be with friends but still wanting time alone.

In my research on persons with disabilities who blog about disability, I identified four dialectics in the blogs I examined:

• individual-societal: disability as a private and public experience
• difference-unity: unique identity and commonality with others
• permanence-temporary: stability/change in identity; temporal nature of disabilities
• dependence-independence: control and relying on others

The individual-societal dialectic was the one most-often addressed; permanence-temporary received the least amount of attention.

In a similar study of women with breast cancer who blogged about their experiences, my colleague, Joy Hart, and I identified four primary dialectics in what the women wrote about:

• control-acceptance: influencing vs. accepting outcomes
• same-changed: person unchanged vs. different
• private-public: individual vs. social experience
• selfish-nurturing: caring for self vs. caring for others

The last dialectice, selfish-nurturing, was one of the more difficult dialectic for the women to cope with due to strong societal norms that emphasize women as caring for others rather than caring for themselves. Same-changed was a common theme, as the women grappled with new and changing definitions of themselves, normality, and difference.

Relational dialectics can provide insight into how people think about and construct their relationships with others, and ultimately how they enact those relationships. Blogs provide a useful source of data for understanding interpersonal communication.

Rubie commented on research reported in this week's web lecture, observing that although some of the research fit with her experiences, other findings did not. In applying relational dialectics, it's important to remember that some will be more salient to you than others--recall the chapter on individual differences. Gian also blogged about relational dialectics and research that suggests some of the dialectics are intertwined. In my research with Joy Hart mentioned above, the control-acceptance and same-changed dialectic seemed related in that those who felt they influenced outcomes also viewed themselves as a different person in positive ways. kcee talked about the importance of balancing openness and closedness in interpersonal relationships in relationship to privacy. That's something we also examined in the blogs about breast cancer. Some of the bloggers were very open about their experiences on their blog and with others, but others were more private and didn't want to talk about it much, except on their blog.

Good insights into relational dialectics--I'm glad so many of you blogged about this research.

--Professor Cyborg