Sunday, June 29, 2008

interpersonal communication and aging

Last night my Dad and his spouse Marian had a dinner to celebrate the publication of my text, Public Speaking: The Evolving Art. They invited several of their friends. As I looked around the room, I realized I was the youngest by a few years in one case and a lot of years in most cases. Listening to them talk reminded me of the importance of intergenerational friendships.

One of the attendees recently turned 90. He served in World War II and talked a bit of public speaking experiences during his time in the military. Another became an author in her 80s. And another, in her 70s, after a long career in nursing and public health, manages the website for the Democratic Party in her county. Marian talked about the Book Buddy program she's organized for the kids in her neighborhood (many of whom are eligible for free breakfast and lunch programs in the summer). Finally, a retired engineer in his 70s works in the local schools to promote an understanding of the United Nations.

So last night I had the opportunity to talk with a group of active seniors with interesting experiences involved in their communities. As I note in the web lecture, the youth-oriented focus of the dominant U.S. culture often leads younger communicators to dismiss and overlook more elderly communicators. Yet many of the projects the dinner guests are involved in as volunteers keep society going and help strengthen the ties of our interpersonal relationships.

Developing and maintaining friendships with people in a wide range of age groups gives you an appreciation for differing experiences and perspectives. My interactions last night encouraged me to think about what I might want to do when I retire and gave me additional insight into the key contributions of strong social networks in the aging process.

--Professor Cyborg

Friday, June 27, 2008

dialectics

Although relational dialectics is called a theory, I consider it more a way of thinking. When I first read about relational dialectics it really resonated with me. It seems rare that people have a single affective response to something, especially something as complex as relationships. Often we have mixed responses, such as wanting to be with friends but still wanting time alone.

In my research on persons with disabilities who blog about disability, I identified four dialectics in the blogs I examined:
  • individual-societal: disability as a private and public experience
  • difference-unity: unique identity and commonality with others
  • permanence-temporary: stability/change in identity; temporal nature of disabilities
  • dependence-independence: control and relying on others
The individual-societal dialectic was the one most-often addressed; permanence-temporary received the least amount of attention.

In a similar study of women with breast cancer who blogged about their experiences, my colleague, Joy Hart, and I identified four primary dialectics in what the women wrote about:
  • control-acceptance: influencing vs. accepting outcomes
  • same-changed: person unchanged vs. different
  • private-public: individual vs. social experience
  • selfish-nurturing: caring for self vs. caring for others
The last dialectice, selfish-nurturing, was one of the more difficult dialectic for the women to cope with due to strong societal norms that emphasize women as caring for others rather than caring for themselves. Same-changed was a common theme, as the women grappled with new and changing definitions of themselves, normality, and difference.

Relational dialectics can provide insight into how people think about and construct their relationships with others, and ultimately how they enact those relationships. Blogs provide a useful source of data for understanding interpersonal communication.

Rubie commented on research reported in this week's web lecture, observing that although some of the research fit with her experiences, other findings did not. In applying relational dialectics, it's important to remember that some will be more salient to you than others--recall the chapter on individual differences. Gian also blogged about relational dialectics and research that suggests some of the dialectics are intertwined. In my research with Joy Hart mentioned above, the control-acceptance and same-changed dialectic seemed related in that those who felt they influenced outcomes also viewed themselves as a different person in positive ways. kcee talked about the importance of balancing openness and closedness in interpersonal relationships in relationship to privacy. That's something we also examined in the blogs about breast cancer. Some of the bloggers were very open about their experiences on their blog and with others, but others were more private and didn't want to talk about it much, except on their blog.

Good insights into relational dialectics--I'm glad so many of you blogged about this research.

--Professor Cyborg

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

friendships, turning points, balance, networks

Like Carmen, I'm interested in research on nonromantic (platonic) friendships. Kathy Werking's groundbreaking book, We're Just Good Friends: Women and Men in Nonromantic Relationships, peeled away some of the mystery of cross-sex friendships. One point Werking makes is that a romantic partner can't be expected to fulfill all our relationship needs. That's why we have friends--both same sex and opposite sex--who round out our relational lives.

beatles123 blogged about turning points in relationships. In many respects, I find the notion of turning points more compelling than relationship stages. What's most interesting for me is that sometimes turning points intersect--both people in the relationship identify the same turning point. Whereas in other cases, a turning point for one is something the other person doesn't even recall.

foodie commented on equity in relationships and maintaining a work/life/school balance, something we're covering in my COMM 144 class this week. Maintaining a work/life balance isn't something we do alone. Others help us out or sometimes hinder our ability to find a healthy balance. Establishing equity in a relationship can be difficult when trying to compare what each person brings to the relationship. And equity may be determined across different time periods--within a day, a week, a month, a year, five years. And as foodie points out, changes in one person's obligations (in this case, school) impacts what is equitable in the relationships.

Gian blogged about an additional relational maintenance strategy--networks and associations. These are relationships to which those in the target relationship are connected. The idea is that these relationships can make your own relationship stronger, especially if a couple has a strong friendship network. One drawback of much of the literature on romantic relationships is the lack of context for understanding them. The larger network within which a relationship is embedded can have a strong influence on how the relationship functions and that relationship can also greatly impact the network (consider what happens when a romantic couple splits up and the two parties have a lot of friends in common).

These are all interesting topics! I look forward to reading about additional interesting topics later this week.

--Professor Cyborg


Monday, June 23, 2008

blogging about relationships

Students in the class have already started blogging about chapters 9, 10, and 11. Jamie declared chapter 9 "a winner" when blogging about how the section on liking and intimacy applies to one of her friendships. Jamie also noted surprise at the importance of physical beauty in attraction and gave an example that shows there are exceptions to every rule. That example also reminds us that many research findings are generalizations not necessarily applicable to every communicator or every situation. Blogging about the anthropological perspective on attraction discussed in the web lecture, Alexb observed that people can mistakenly assume others seek a particular physical type and try to look a certain way, or use strategies that attract persons they don't want to attract.

Goofy blogged about the importance of relationship maintenance, which can be the really hard work of interpersonal relationships. As Goofy notes, people can get bored easily, so looking for ways to keep the relationship fresh and new are essential for maintaining the relationship. And this is true of any interpersonal relationship, not just intimate ones.

Rock N Roll commented about relationship stages. This approach is appealing and useful, although it doesn't fit every relationship. Still, it provides a reminder that relationships don't stand still and are always changing.

A good start for the week! Stay tuned for more blog entries and comments.

--Professor Cyborg

Sunday, June 22, 2008

relationships and disability

Chapter 9 presents some cold hard facts about the beginnings of relationships. One that I write about in web lecture four is the role physical beauty or attractiveness plays in whether or not you even decide to interact with someone. So much research has found that people who are viewed as more attractive are also perceived as smarter, friendlier, more competent--the list goes on and on. And what's even more distressing is that beauty is associated with good and ugliness is associated with bad. Just watch any movie or TV show--the "baddies" are almost always unattractive. In the web lecture I discuss the Batman movies and the association of disability with being bad or evil. Many other films and works of fiction follow this pattern--the bad person has some sort of disability that explains why the person is bad. Imagine the impact this has on persons with disabilities. For a useful counterbalance to this theme, view Murderball, a documentary film about rugby players who are quadriplegic.

I've done several studies focused on communication and disability, including two surveys of SJSU students with disabilities. I've also written about metaphors for disability, such as disability as medical problem, disability as culture, and disability as community. Those metaphors not only shape how you think about disability, but also how you interact with persons with disabilities. As one of my colleagues at Ohio U once told me, keep this in mind: persons without disabilities are TABs (temporarily able-bodied).

--Professor Cyborg

Friday, June 20, 2008

sex differences

There are several places in the text that discuss gender or sex differences in interpersonal communication, as with factors affecting self disclosure in chapter 7. In 2002, Julia Wood published an essay in the Southern Communication Journal titled "A Critical Response to John Gray's Mars and Venus Portrayals of Men and Women." You've probably heard of or read the book, which was quite popular.

Wood evaluates Gray's claims against scholarly research as well as everyday experience and finds those claims lacking the empirical evidence needed to support them. She makes three important points in her essay. First,
differences between women and men are not innate or immutable. Second, socially constructed differences between the sexes do exist, although they change over time; consider women's and men's roles in the home and the workplace 100 years ago. Third, there are greater differences within each group in terms of how individuals communicate than between each group. That is, there is more variation among women in their communication and more variation among men in their communication than variation between women and men.

Wood's analysis is important because it tells us women and men can interact with each other collaboratively and productively. Miscommunication between women and men is not pre-determined. Although girls and boys may be raised to communicate in different ways, those differences are not innate. Which means we can change how we interact with each other. And that suggests we can find ways to communicate more effectively and reduce instances of miscommunication.

--Professor Cyborg

Thursday, June 19, 2008

thursday, week 3

In discussing the notion of secrets in interpersonal relationships, Sabrina had positive things to say about the text, which I appreciated. Choosing a text can prove difficult. There are many interpersonal communication texts for lower division courses, but not many for upper division. This book strikes a good balance between theory/research and the practice of interpersonal communication. As Sabrina observes, the authors break down concepts into their parts or elements and give examples to make the concepts more concrete.

Boyd013 gave several good examples of excuses. You use them in an attempt to manage impressions others have of you. Generally you don't want to appear incompetent, stupid, uncaring, or any number of negative qualities, so you use accounts to try to spin your actions in a more positive way. That relates to Carmen's comments on embarassment in that you can also use accounts to avoid embarassment, and help others by smoothing over embarassing situations. Gian also blogged about embarassment and gave some suggestions for dealing with such situations.

In discussing self-presentation strategies, forrent36 focused on self-glorification. Although the dominant U.S. culture expects some self-glorification or self-promotion, too much reflects poorly on the self. For example, when interviewed on TV, professional sports players in team sports rarely take all the credit for themselves, even if they had a great game. They usually say something like, "I couldn't have done it without my teammates" or "It was really a team effort."

Chapters 6-8 provide key insights into how the self is constructed in and through communication with others. How you define yourself is grounded and reflected in your communication with others.

--Professor Cyborg

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

privacy and self disclosure

No comments on your blogs today. I'm on my soapbox.

The third edition of the text for this class addressed issues of privacy and self disclosure, but the fourth edition has much more in depth coverage. This additional coverage is one reason why it's worth purchasing the fourth edition. With some textbooks, the authors make just minor changes between editions. For this text, there were major revisions.

Although I don't agree with all aspects of Petronio's communication privacy model, I do like the attention the model draws to the notion of privacy (so a move away from complete openness being the best way to communicate) and the idea of negotiating those privacy boundaries. So the boundaries aren't fixed, but can be altered through communication in relationships with others. One weaknesses of the model is that power isn't addressed very well. For example, in families, parents have more power to negotiate privacy boundaries than children. Similarly, in organizations, supervisors have more power to set privacy boundaries than employees. For example, research my colleagues and I conducted on workplace surveillance found that organizations exert a great deal of power in defining the reasons for surveillance.

A story on NPR this morning on email surveillance got me thinking about privacy boundaries. The NPR host interviewed a woman whose company searches through the email of organizations' email (at their request) for legal reasons. We're talking about thousands, 10s of thousands, and millions of email messages. The bottom line: email never goes away and it is public. So all the negotiation employees may try out in managing privacy boundaries in the workplace will face the cold reality of email message longevity and accessibility.

As you read through the chapters, consider the ways in which the concepts and theories apply--or don't--to your interpersonal communication experiences. If a concept or theory doesn't seem to fit, that doesn't mean it's wrong, only that it may need modification or a different concept or theory may be a better fit.

--Professor Cyborg


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

self presentation

Early work in interpersonal communication posited a dichotomy between in person self presentation and online (also called viritual) self presentation. But more recent work recognizes that online and other new media venues simply give individuals additional formats to develop and present the self. Whether communicators present the self (selves really is the better term as there is no single self, but rather multiple selves) in person, via cell phone, in a web chat, or online discussion, all those activities are part of the self. (Unfortunately, the text for the class does a poor job addressing identity issues associated with new media.)

Sarina mentioned the dramaturgical perspective discussed in Chapter 6. This perspective views life as a series of performances and recognizes the interdependence of communicators in achieving self presentation goals. Facebook provides a good example of this interdependence, as part of an individual's self-presentation on Facebook is the person's friends and what friends write on the individual's Facebook page. Both Sarina and Carmen referred to presenting different aspects of the self to different audiences. Using different impression management strategies depending on the situation and relationship with other communicators is not only common but expected. My friends wouldn't expect me to present my "professor" self to them and start lecturing during a dinner party. Yet online self presentation can make impression management more challenging. For example, who are my audiences for Facebook? I have "friends" who are colleagues, students, coworkers, family members, social friends, professional friends--many different groups. How is each group interpreting my self-presentation strategies?

CGH blogged about ingratiation, or the strategies used to get others to like us. Generally, these are positive strategies, such as being friendly and complimenting others. But when used to manipulate, they are considered unethical. Rabbit Tale blogged about the concept of self disclosure in Web Lecture 3. When I was an undergraduate in the late 1970s, interpersonal communication courses tended to emphasize openness and complete honesty--no matter what the consequences. But communication scholars have learned that there are times when saying what you're thinking is not appropriate, and you might regret what you said later. In the web lecture I talk about reasons communicators might not want to disclose information.

The three chapters and web lecture for this week are especially interesting because they focus on the self and how the self is so intertwined in our relationships with others. Who you are influences how you communicate with others and how others communicate with you influences how you view yourself. In addition, how you view others influences your communication with them and how you communicate with them influences how they view themselves.

--Professor Cyborg

Friday, June 13, 2008

naming communication

When I was a master's student in communication at Central Michigan University I taught an introductory course that surveyed the communication discipline, covering topics such as interpersonal, small group, organizational, and public communication. The first day one student said, "I don't know why I have to take a communication class. I've been communicating all my life." By the end of the semester, he realized that he hadn't always been communicating very well, but more importantly, he learned to be more aware of his communication with others. Studying interpersonal communication theories and concepts gives you the language to better identify and reflect on your own communication. Sarina found this out when she read the listening chapters and applied the concepts to her workplace communication.

Rabbit Tale's entry about harmful listening took me back to my In Pursuit of Awareness class I took as an undergraduate. The professor promoted a completely "open" class where students would self-disclose whatever they were thinking or feeling at the time. But being "open" is not always appropriate. And sometimes what we're thinking in a precise moment isn't what we'll be thinking at the next moment. So blurting out whatever can be harmful and having to listen to those unmonitored thoughts can prove difficult. All communicators have a responsibility to consider the other. Revealing feelings and difficult emotions can prove therapeutic, but in the process we don't want to traumatize listeners.

Alexb blogged about empathy, noting how crucial it is to effective interpersonal communication, especially listening. Yet the chapter on social cognition suggests that we all have different cognitive structures for organizing interpersonal information. How is empathy possible? Shared schemata that stem from similar cultural and social experiences provide one avenue for empathy. And while total empathy isn't possible, listeners can still attempt to consider others' perspectives. Beatles123's entry about exhibiting patience with listeners is related to this notion of listening. A good speaker recognizes and takes into account the listener's perspective.

Kcee noted that implicit personality theory suggests individuals make their assessments of other quite quickly. Sometimes this can be advantageous, but oftentimes we jump to conclusions and make hasty generalizations about others that later prove to be false.

The blog entries this week are demonstrating the importance of reflecting on communication practices in everyday life by naming them. Naming these practices makes us more aware of our communication and impact on others' communication.

Tomorrow ends week 2. The weekends are busy days for me as I read and re-read all the blog entries and comments, so I often don't blog on the weekends. But I'll be online, answering your emails and reading your blogs.

--Professor Cyborg

Thursday, June 12, 2008

cognition, communication, listening

Chapter 5 on social cognition is one of the most interesting chapters in the text for me. Much of my research is on the links between social cognition and message production and interpretation. In addition, my father is a psychology professor (now retired) and I was a psychology major before switching to communication studies, so my interest in human cognition started long before my interest in communication. The two are deeply intertwined--we can't communicate without thinking and how we think is grounded in our experiences with others.

Alexb discussed the importance of empathy, which is introduced in C. 4 on listening, but also plays a role in social cognition. For example, empathy is often a part of prototypes such as friendly and helpful and lack of empathy is typically associated with unfrlendly and selfish, as Alexb alluded to. Kcee's experiences provide a good link between cognition and listening and how the two influence each other. In addition, how we perceive people also impacts how we listen to them, and how we listen to others influences how they perceive us.

Amaja brought up the new COMM tagline: Listen • Speak • Engage. In the faculty discussions about the department's tagline, we spent some time trying to figure out which term should come first--they really happen all at once. The department's name used to be Speech Communication--note the emphasis on speech. And that emphasis is clear in course offerings not only in our department at SJSU, but in nearly all communication studies departments. Especially in the dominant American culture, speech is privileged over listening. Goofy talked about attributions, which structure our communicative experiences. How we explain what happens influences our response to a situation.

I grouped together Chapters 4, 5, 14, and 16 because they are highly interrelated, as you'll find out as you blog this week.

--Professor Cyborg

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

listening and interpersonal goals

I spent a good part of today listening--and giving advice. As acting chair, I scheduled drop in advising hours 9a-1p today, sending out a message via mySJSU to all COMM majors and minors. I lost track of how many students I talked with (at least 20), but I didn't finish until 2:40p. Although the setting was educational, the conversations weren't in the classroom. The goals were primarily instrumental--students making sure they were completing requirements and me making sure students understood what they needed to do. But there were relational goals involved as well, as some students I had talked with before and others I'll likely talk with in the future.

Several people in the class have blogged about listening. Carmen noted the use and importance of backchannels to let others know we're listening. Caligirl522
observed that in the organizational context individuals often focus more on speaking and listening. Yet poor listening skills can lead to all sorts of problems in the workplace. Aleks related a situation in which she was distracted by the speaker's jargon. What can listeners do in that type of situation? Nicciri talked about the importance of listening in romantic relationships. One of the most difficult communication tasks is taking another's perspective while listening--because we're so focused on what we think and what we want to say.

Keep those blog entries coming!

--Professor Cyborg

Monday, June 9, 2008

monday week 2

Originally I was going to have students blog (graded) the first week of session, but now I'm glad I decided against that. It took most of last week to get everyone on the class listserv and blog roll (and added to my Google Reader). Assigned blogging would have been too much--and likely sent students to mySJSU to immediately drop the class.

This week starts the graded blogging. Although last week I read all the entries and commented on most of them, for the graded blogs students do the commenting--I only write about student blogs on my blog.

In her first blog entry this week, Gian focused on listening and the importance of letting others know that you are listening. My dad has always been a multitasker. He'd grade papers (he was a psychology professor, tho now retired) while watching TV with the radio on. When we'd (my 4 siblings and myself) would say something to him, he'd appear not to be listening--he'd never stop doing whatever he was doing. But then he'd repeat back what we said. Still, I'm not convinced he was always listening. Repeating back the words doesn't mean he really processed the information. He became a better listener over time, especially about giving the feedback Gian described is so essential to effective listening.

How does the concept of listening translate to online communication, especially text? How do you let others know you're listening in email exchanges? Texting?

-Professor Cyborg

Friday, June 6, 2008

deadlines and such

COMM 110 follows a calendar week, so starts Sunday morning (12:01 a.m. to be exact) and ends Saturday at midnight. That means you must complete all your Process Tasks and take the first quiz by midnight tomorrow.

As Acting Chair much of time in the summer is spent advising. Students new to communication studies often wonder how this discipline is different from others, such as psychology and sociology. Although communication scholars may focus on topics similar to scholars in other disciplines, the primary concern is always on messages, or more accurately, messaging. So Chapters 2 and 3 in your text clearly identify what communication scholars mean when they talk about messages and messaging. For example, a psychology researcher may ask, "How are people's cognitions affected by their moods?" A communication researcher may ask "How do people's cognitions influence how they interpret and produce messages?"

Just over 24 hours for you to complete the readings for this week (Chapters 1-3 and the first web lecture) and take the quiz. Nearly everyone has joined the listserv and set up their blogs. So we'll be blogging away next week!

--Professor Cyborg

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

day 3 week 1

Nearly everyone in the class has accessed the class blackboard site, set up their various google accounts, and emailed me. So we're off to a great start! If you're having problems with blackboard you are not alone! Email me if you can't access that part of the class. Recently updated instructions are also available on the eCampus website.

There aren't many interpersonal communication books for upper-division courses. I like the Canary et al. book for several reasons. A primary one is the focus on goals the authors articulate in the first chapter. By defining communication as a goal-oriented activity, the authors differentiate communication from behavior. You may have learned about the axiom "one cannot not communicate." But there are times we're not communicating, we're simply behaving. Therefore, not all behavior is communication.

I hope you're finding the first few readings in the text interesting and the web lecture a helpful addition to those chapters. Note that you don't have to blog this week, but it's helpful to try it out so you're ready for Week 2.

--Professor Cyborg

Monday, June 2, 2008

let the blogging begin!

The class blog roll has already passed the halfway point. Getting the class set up (students signing up for the listserv and a blog) is always a bit hectic at the beginning of the term, which is why there's no graded blogging until next week.

As I mention on the Process Tasks and Participation pages, it's easier to keep track of everyone's blogging activity if you add your classmates' blogs to your own blog roll and set up Google Reader. Both are easy to do. If you have problems, first check with Blogger help (blog roll) and Google Reader help (generally I've found all google help functions actually helpful). Then email me or the listserv if you have additional questions.

I've spent a good part of my day answering class emails and adding your blogs to the blog roll. Later in the week I'll blog about class content.

In the meantime, email any general questions you have about the class to the listserv (google groups). And blog away!!

--Professor Cyborg

Sunday, June 1, 2008

blackboard site available

Rosters have been uploaded to the blackboard part of the class. We'll only use blackboard for quizzes and grades. If you've never used SJSU's version of blackboard before, you'll want to go through the practice questions to try out the quiz function.

This week we'll focus on Chapters 1-3 and the first web lecture. If you haven't already, set up a gmail account, join the class listserv, start your blog, and make your first entry (not graded, just to get used to blogging). You also need to take Quiz 1 by Saturday at midnight.

Class starts tomorrow. The six weeks will fly by!

--Professor Cyborg