In chapter 15 of your text the authors discuss the impact of childhood attachment styles and later interpersonal relationships in adulthood. Attachment theory has received much attention from interpersonal communication researchers in part because it's fairly to easy to measure by having participants complete a survey. Then the results of the survey--each participant's attachment style--is correlated to a whole host of variables, such as current conflict style and friendship types. Although the research is interesting, it can also lead to a deterministic view of interpersonal communication if attachment styles are viewed as static. Children who develop anxious/ambivalent or avoidant styles due to interactions with their caregivers are not destined to repeat those same patterns in adulthood. Experiences in later interpersonal relationships and with other family members and social networks impact an individual's attachment style. As I note in the web lecture, "Although the bonds you form with your caregivers when you were young do influence your later relationships, attachment styles may evolve and change over time as you form new bonds with other people."
Still, attachment styles underscore the importance of those early interactions in a child's development. You learn from your caregivers how to go about communicating interpersonal relationships. Alexb commented about the link between attachment styles and cheating or infidelity. jdmINT referred to an article in Psychology Today that discussed parental favoritism. The researchers interview mothers, the majority of whom admitted to having a favorite child. I'd be interesting in knowing if the child and other siblings recognized these feelings. Goofy blogged about the secure attachments that form a central part of her family interactions. In blogging about her relationship with her niece, Sarina noted that attachment bonds go beyond the immediate family to include others who are a key part of a child's life, such as an aunt. Similarly, Jamie reported on the bonding that occurs between children and nannies. Foodie observed that attachment styles can impact friendships as well as romantic relationships, and discussed the difficulty of maintaining a friendship with someone who primarily exhibits the fearful/avoidant style. Caligirl522 observed that babies react to their parents, so can learn to adopt a particular style. Gian reported that attachment styles within a family can vary.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
conflict
Students always find Chapter 13 on conflict directly applicable to their everyday experiences. The department offers two courses on conflict, Communication and Conflict, COMM 115, and Mediation, COMM 116.
Jamie blogged about a housemate conflict that most college students have experienced--the person who thinks what's yours is hers/his but what's hers/his definitely is not yours. Carmen talked about the different conflict patterns that can be detected in relationships. Nicciri wrote about intrapsychic or internal conflict, which I find interesting as well. Interpersonal and intrapsychic conflict are often heavily intertwined. Rock N Roll noted that when we face a conflict situation our first choice is avoid or confront. Squirrelhands observed that confronting the boss at work often isn't the best way to go. In the workplace, conflict strategies must be framed within the reality of the organizational hierarchy and your relationship with your boss.
Communicators encounter conflict across a wide variety of interpersonal communication contexts. In spite of all those encounters, conflicts still remain difficult to manage productively.
--Professor Cyborg
Jamie blogged about a housemate conflict that most college students have experienced--the person who thinks what's yours is hers/his but what's hers/his definitely is not yours. Carmen talked about the different conflict patterns that can be detected in relationships. Nicciri wrote about intrapsychic or internal conflict, which I find interesting as well. Interpersonal and intrapsychic conflict are often heavily intertwined. Rock N Roll noted that when we face a conflict situation our first choice is avoid or confront. Squirrelhands observed that confronting the boss at work often isn't the best way to go. In the workplace, conflict strategies must be framed within the reality of the organizational hierarchy and your relationship with your boss.
Communicators encounter conflict across a wide variety of interpersonal communication contexts. In spite of all those encounters, conflicts still remain difficult to manage productively.
--Professor Cyborg
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
culture, conflict, & interpersonal communication
Much of the research in interpersonal communication relies on student participants attending U.S. universities and colleges and often those participants are communication studies majors or students enrolled in communication studies classes. I'm not the first scholar to make this observation and some have even defended the use of student populations, arguing students are representative of the general population. I don't find this argument persuasive. Communication scholars must do a better job of studying a wide variety of groups so we can examine differences and similarities across populations.
That's why in the web lecture for this week I discussed research that examines conflict in multiple cultures. For example, the Ting-Toomey et al. study I discuss focused on self-construal and conflict style using a fairly diverse population. The researchers found conflict styles are influenced by how communicators view themselves. What I found even more interesting was the Oetzel et al. study which provides a more fine-grained analysis of collectivist vs. individualist cultures than is usually offered. Rather than assuming facework strategies to manage conflict are the same within each group, these researchers found that strategies within each type of culture can vary. Squirelhands found similar research discussed in Chapter 12 interesting as well in part because it meshes with concepts and research in other communication studies courses. Rubei found the research on Chinese teachers and conflicts something she could relate to because it identified cultural differences in compliance gaining.
These two studies and others discussed in the web lecture remind us that culture influences definitions of conflict, interpretations of communicative behaviors associated with conflict, the conflict styles communicators choose to use, and how those styles are enacted. Particularly as the U.S. population becomes more diverse, interpersonal communication scholars need to move away from surveying undergraduates at a large midwestern university and make a greater effort to find out how conflict plays out in a variety of relationships with a variety of people.
--Professor Cyborg
That's why in the web lecture for this week I discussed research that examines conflict in multiple cultures. For example, the Ting-Toomey et al. study I discuss focused on self-construal and conflict style using a fairly diverse population. The researchers found conflict styles are influenced by how communicators view themselves. What I found even more interesting was the Oetzel et al. study which provides a more fine-grained analysis of collectivist vs. individualist cultures than is usually offered. Rather than assuming facework strategies to manage conflict are the same within each group, these researchers found that strategies within each type of culture can vary. Squirelhands found similar research discussed in Chapter 12 interesting as well in part because it meshes with concepts and research in other communication studies courses. Rubei found the research on Chinese teachers and conflicts something she could relate to because it identified cultural differences in compliance gaining.
These two studies and others discussed in the web lecture remind us that culture influences definitions of conflict, interpretations of communicative behaviors associated with conflict, the conflict styles communicators choose to use, and how those styles are enacted. Particularly as the U.S. population becomes more diverse, interpersonal communication scholars need to move away from surveying undergraduates at a large midwestern university and make a greater effort to find out how conflict plays out in a variety of relationships with a variety of people.
--Professor Cyborg
Sunday, June 29, 2008
interpersonal communication and aging
Last night my Dad and his spouse Marian had a dinner to celebrate the publication of my text, Public Speaking: The Evolving Art. They invited several of their friends. As I looked around the room, I realized I was the youngest by a few years in one case and a lot of years in most cases. Listening to them talk reminded me of the importance of intergenerational friendships.
One of the attendees recently turned 90. He served in World War II and talked a bit of public speaking experiences during his time in the military. Another became an author in her 80s. And another, in her 70s, after a long career in nursing and public health, manages the website for the Democratic Party in her county. Marian talked about the Book Buddy program she's organized for the kids in her neighborhood (many of whom are eligible for free breakfast and lunch programs in the summer). Finally, a retired engineer in his 70s works in the local schools to promote an understanding of the United Nations.
So last night I had the opportunity to talk with a group of active seniors with interesting experiences involved in their communities. As I note in the web lecture, the youth-oriented focus of the dominant U.S. culture often leads younger communicators to dismiss and overlook more elderly communicators. Yet many of the projects the dinner guests are involved in as volunteers keep society going and help strengthen the ties of our interpersonal relationships.
Developing and maintaining friendships with people in a wide range of age groups gives you an appreciation for differing experiences and perspectives. My interactions last night encouraged me to think about what I might want to do when I retire and gave me additional insight into the key contributions of strong social networks in the aging process.
--Professor Cyborg
One of the attendees recently turned 90. He served in World War II and talked a bit of public speaking experiences during his time in the military. Another became an author in her 80s. And another, in her 70s, after a long career in nursing and public health, manages the website for the Democratic Party in her county. Marian talked about the Book Buddy program she's organized for the kids in her neighborhood (many of whom are eligible for free breakfast and lunch programs in the summer). Finally, a retired engineer in his 70s works in the local schools to promote an understanding of the United Nations.
So last night I had the opportunity to talk with a group of active seniors with interesting experiences involved in their communities. As I note in the web lecture, the youth-oriented focus of the dominant U.S. culture often leads younger communicators to dismiss and overlook more elderly communicators. Yet many of the projects the dinner guests are involved in as volunteers keep society going and help strengthen the ties of our interpersonal relationships.
Developing and maintaining friendships with people in a wide range of age groups gives you an appreciation for differing experiences and perspectives. My interactions last night encouraged me to think about what I might want to do when I retire and gave me additional insight into the key contributions of strong social networks in the aging process.
--Professor Cyborg
Friday, June 27, 2008
dialectics
Although relational dialectics is called a theory, I consider it more a way of thinking. When I first read about relational dialectics it really resonated with me. It seems rare that people have a single affective response to something, especially something as complex as relationships. Often we have mixed responses, such as wanting to be with friends but still wanting time alone.
In my research on persons with disabilities who blog about disability, I identified four dialectics in the blogs I examined:
In a similar study of women with breast cancer who blogged about their experiences, my colleague, Joy Hart, and I identified four primary dialectics in what the women wrote about:
Relational dialectics can provide insight into how people think about and construct their relationships with others, and ultimately how they enact those relationships. Blogs provide a useful source of data for understanding interpersonal communication.
Rubie commented on research reported in this week's web lecture, observing that although some of the research fit with her experiences, other findings did not. In applying relational dialectics, it's important to remember that some will be more salient to you than others--recall the chapter on individual differences. Gian also blogged about relational dialectics and research that suggests some of the dialectics are intertwined. In my research with Joy Hart mentioned above, the control-acceptance and same-changed dialectic seemed related in that those who felt they influenced outcomes also viewed themselves as a different person in positive ways. kcee talked about the importance of balancing openness and closedness in interpersonal relationships in relationship to privacy. That's something we also examined in the blogs about breast cancer. Some of the bloggers were very open about their experiences on their blog and with others, but others were more private and didn't want to talk about it much, except on their blog.
Good insights into relational dialectics--I'm glad so many of you blogged about this research.
--Professor Cyborg
In my research on persons with disabilities who blog about disability, I identified four dialectics in the blogs I examined:
- individual-societal: disability as a private and public experience
- difference-unity: unique identity and commonality with others
- permanence-temporary: stability/change in identity; temporal nature of disabilities
- dependence-independence: control and relying on others
In a similar study of women with breast cancer who blogged about their experiences, my colleague, Joy Hart, and I identified four primary dialectics in what the women wrote about:
- control-acceptance: influencing vs. accepting outcomes
- same-changed: person unchanged vs. different
- private-public: individual vs. social experience
- selfish-nurturing: caring for self vs. caring for others
Relational dialectics can provide insight into how people think about and construct their relationships with others, and ultimately how they enact those relationships. Blogs provide a useful source of data for understanding interpersonal communication.
Rubie commented on research reported in this week's web lecture, observing that although some of the research fit with her experiences, other findings did not. In applying relational dialectics, it's important to remember that some will be more salient to you than others--recall the chapter on individual differences. Gian also blogged about relational dialectics and research that suggests some of the dialectics are intertwined. In my research with Joy Hart mentioned above, the control-acceptance and same-changed dialectic seemed related in that those who felt they influenced outcomes also viewed themselves as a different person in positive ways. kcee talked about the importance of balancing openness and closedness in interpersonal relationships in relationship to privacy. That's something we also examined in the blogs about breast cancer. Some of the bloggers were very open about their experiences on their blog and with others, but others were more private and didn't want to talk about it much, except on their blog.
Good insights into relational dialectics--I'm glad so many of you blogged about this research.
--Professor Cyborg
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
friendships, turning points, balance, networks
Like Carmen, I'm interested in research on nonromantic (platonic) friendships. Kathy Werking's groundbreaking book, We're Just Good Friends: Women and Men in Nonromantic Relationships, peeled away some of the mystery of cross-sex friendships. One point Werking makes is that a romantic partner can't be expected to fulfill all our relationship needs. That's why we have friends--both same sex and opposite sex--who round out our relational lives.
beatles123 blogged about turning points in relationships. In many respects, I find the notion of turning points more compelling than relationship stages. What's most interesting for me is that sometimes turning points intersect--both people in the relationship identify the same turning point. Whereas in other cases, a turning point for one is something the other person doesn't even recall.
foodie commented on equity in relationships and maintaining a work/life/school balance, something we're covering in my COMM 144 class this week. Maintaining a work/life balance isn't something we do alone. Others help us out or sometimes hinder our ability to find a healthy balance. Establishing equity in a relationship can be difficult when trying to compare what each person brings to the relationship. And equity may be determined across different time periods--within a day, a week, a month, a year, five years. And as foodie points out, changes in one person's obligations (in this case, school) impacts what is equitable in the relationships.
Gian blogged about an additional relational maintenance strategy--networks and associations. These are relationships to which those in the target relationship are connected. The idea is that these relationships can make your own relationship stronger, especially if a couple has a strong friendship network. One drawback of much of the literature on romantic relationships is the lack of context for understanding them. The larger network within which a relationship is embedded can have a strong influence on how the relationship functions and that relationship can also greatly impact the network (consider what happens when a romantic couple splits up and the two parties have a lot of friends in common).
These are all interesting topics! I look forward to reading about additional interesting topics later this week.
--Professor Cyborg
beatles123 blogged about turning points in relationships. In many respects, I find the notion of turning points more compelling than relationship stages. What's most interesting for me is that sometimes turning points intersect--both people in the relationship identify the same turning point. Whereas in other cases, a turning point for one is something the other person doesn't even recall.
foodie commented on equity in relationships and maintaining a work/life/school balance, something we're covering in my COMM 144 class this week. Maintaining a work/life balance isn't something we do alone. Others help us out or sometimes hinder our ability to find a healthy balance. Establishing equity in a relationship can be difficult when trying to compare what each person brings to the relationship. And equity may be determined across different time periods--within a day, a week, a month, a year, five years. And as foodie points out, changes in one person's obligations (in this case, school) impacts what is equitable in the relationships.
Gian blogged about an additional relational maintenance strategy--networks and associations. These are relationships to which those in the target relationship are connected. The idea is that these relationships can make your own relationship stronger, especially if a couple has a strong friendship network. One drawback of much of the literature on romantic relationships is the lack of context for understanding them. The larger network within which a relationship is embedded can have a strong influence on how the relationship functions and that relationship can also greatly impact the network (consider what happens when a romantic couple splits up and the two parties have a lot of friends in common).
These are all interesting topics! I look forward to reading about additional interesting topics later this week.
--Professor Cyborg
Monday, June 23, 2008
blogging about relationships
Students in the class have already started blogging about chapters 9, 10, and 11. Jamie declared chapter 9 "a winner" when blogging about how the section on liking and intimacy applies to one of her friendships. Jamie also noted surprise at the importance of physical beauty in attraction and gave an example that shows there are exceptions to every rule. That example also reminds us that many research findings are generalizations not necessarily applicable to every communicator or every situation. Blogging about the anthropological perspective on attraction discussed in the web lecture, Alexb observed that people can mistakenly assume others seek a particular physical type and try to look a certain way, or use strategies that attract persons they don't want to attract.
Goofy blogged about the importance of relationship maintenance, which can be the really hard work of interpersonal relationships. As Goofy notes, people can get bored easily, so looking for ways to keep the relationship fresh and new are essential for maintaining the relationship. And this is true of any interpersonal relationship, not just intimate ones.
Rock N Roll commented about relationship stages. This approach is appealing and useful, although it doesn't fit every relationship. Still, it provides a reminder that relationships don't stand still and are always changing.
A good start for the week! Stay tuned for more blog entries and comments.
--Professor Cyborg
Goofy blogged about the importance of relationship maintenance, which can be the really hard work of interpersonal relationships. As Goofy notes, people can get bored easily, so looking for ways to keep the relationship fresh and new are essential for maintaining the relationship. And this is true of any interpersonal relationship, not just intimate ones.
Rock N Roll commented about relationship stages. This approach is appealing and useful, although it doesn't fit every relationship. Still, it provides a reminder that relationships don't stand still and are always changing.
A good start for the week! Stay tuned for more blog entries and comments.
--Professor Cyborg
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)